Sheetal Potdar

While I was out on a walk one day, I noticed a woman talking to her baby in that slow, exaggerated, high-pitched voice we all use while talking to babies. Her exact words were “oh… are you feeling co-o-o-o-o-o-l-d? Oh poor ba-a-a-a-b-y! Mommy is sorry!”. A few minutes later, I observed a man playing with his dog and addressing it in the same way. Imagine my surprise when I heard a couple talk to each other in that same high-pitched, cloying voice. It immediately struck a chord that all three types of speech were similar, yet I was annoyed only when the couple was using it towards each other. 

This raises a few interesting questions: Why do people use baby talk? Does it serve different purposes when the intended recipients are different? And finally, why do people cringe at baby talk only when used in certain contexts?

In this blog, I try to address all these questions.

Infant-directed speech: Did you do a boo-boo?

Baby talk, or infant-directed speech (IDS) as scientists call it, is a speech pattern used by adults intended for babies, where adults speak in a high pitch, and an exaggerated tone. There is a musicality to speech, accompanied by changes in language, and sometimes song. Together, these patterns are sometimes referred to as ‘Parentese’ or ‘Motherese’.

If you thought that this was prevalent only in some cultures, think again. A couple of years ago, a group of scientists recorded speech patterns from hundreds of people in different societies, and found that IDS was used by people across cultures. They recorded speech and song from each person directed towards infants or adults, and analyzed multiple acoustic features such as pitch, rhythm and timbre. They found that the pitch was higher, and pitch range was greater in IDS, irrespective of the language. Interestingly, even indigenous people living deep in the African forests, disconnected from the rest of modern human society, also used higher pitch while communicating with infants. It is fascinating that we modify so much about our speech while talking to tiny humans who probably don’t even comprehend what we are saying.

Why do we use IDS?

At this stage of human speech and language research, multiple theories exist. One theory which has garnered sufficient evidence is that IDS is used to capture the attention of babies. For example, in one of the studies where 6-month old infants were addressed in either IDS or adult-directed speech (ADS), they were attentive to words spoken in IDS for longer durations, as compared to words spoken in ADS. In another study, gaze following (i.e. the ability to match the eye movements of another human, so that they observe and fixate on what the other human is observing) of 6-month old infants was measured. It was found that infants follow the experimenter’s gaze better, when simultaneously spoken to in IDS, as compared to ADS. In another seminal work, scientists performed Electroencephalography (EEG – a non-invasive technique to measure the electrical activity of the brain) on the cortex of 7-month old infants, when exposed to IDS or ADS, and found higher cortical activity during IDS, suggesting a neural basis for increased attention when listening to IDS.

Another theory, equally backed up by substantial evidence, suggests that speaking in baby talk improves language development and understanding among infants. One study has shown that infants are able to separate words better when listening to IDS compared to ADS. To understand this better, imagine you are learning a new, foreign language, with which you have no prior experience. Wouldn’t you be able to segment the syllables into words, when it is presented to you in slow speeds, with ample repetition? That is exactly what is happening in infants, where they are able to learn the syllables of words better when they are spoken to in IDS. In fact, another study showed that English-speaking undergraduate students were able to learn and recall words from Mandarin better, when they were exposed to it in infant-directed speech, as compared to adult-directed speech! Indeed, several behavioral studies indicate that other features of language such as word learning and familiar word recognition are also facilitated by IDS.

Pet-directed speech: Who’s a good boy?

In today’s world, with more and more people opting for fur babies instead of human babies, should we be really surprised that there is a version of baby talk reserved for pets? 

Indeed, pet-directed speech (PDS) and IDS share similar acoustic features – both are slow, high-pitched, repetitive and spoken in a sing-song manner. What is interesting is that they seem to serve similar purposes too. Dogs too, show increased attentiveness, engage with humans for longer and follow the gaze of a human better when listening to PDS versus ADS. Whether dogs (and cats) like babies can understand human language better when spoken to in PDS versus normal speech is an open question. Another question that remains to be addressed is whether this type of specialized speech facilitates stronger social connection between parent and baby – human or fur.

Baby Talk in relationships: I wuv you!

Perhaps the most baffling of all, is couples talking to each other in baby talk. Linguists and human relationships researchers of the 80’s and 90’s believed that speech patterns help establish deep emotional connections. In fact, many scientists believe that baby talk evolved as a way to promote emotional attachment between parent and child. When couples communicate with each other in baby talk, it harkens back to their childhood, and helps them associate their partner with the safety and intimacy they must have experienced towards their parents as children, listening to baby talk. 

A 1993 survey on more than 150 heterosexual couples, showed that a majority of couples had specialized idioms in their relationship, such as cutesy nicknames, internal jokes and sexual innuendos. This study found that most idioms are formulated during the early stages of a relationship, and there was a significant correlation between the number of idioms and the perceived happiness of the couple. 

At this time, I would like to point out an important concept in science – correlation is NOT causation. What that means is that just because two things are related, it doesn’t mean that one causes the other. For example, height and weight are often correlated, i.e. taller people will weigh more than shorter people. But that doesn’t mean that height increases weight (or vice-versa). That’s just absurd! In the same way, using baby talk in relationships doesn’t cause more happiness, these two factors just happen to be correlated with each other. This detour is important, for I don’t want people to find more reasons to engage in baby talk!

Nevertheless, it is important to acknowledge that couples who report engaging in baby talk are more secure in their relationships and seem to communicate more openly. Not only does baby talk improve the bond between partners, but also characteristic nicknames and internal references to jokes create a feeling of uniqueness shared by the couple.

Why the cringe?

At this point, there is no compelling science to explain why people find baby talk, particularly within the context of relationships, annoying. I can only hazard guesses – and my best guess is that when you hear a couple talk to each other in their special language, it is alienating to the third person. While it may promote intimacy within the couple, it creates a distance for the listener, and brings attention to their outsider status. Obviously, nobody likes to be an outsider in any social setting, and that discomfort is manifested as annoyance.

Some people don’t like being the recipient of baby talk while they are in a relationship. Again, my best guess for this is perhaps it reminds them of their most insecure and vulnerable times, which of course is naturally aversive.

Other articles on the internet point towards baby talk within relationships coming across as fake and manipulative, which can be instantly off-putting. These feelings don’t occur to us when we observe people interacting with their babies or pets, since those relationships are a parent-baby dynamic, as opposed to a social dynamic comprising three adults in a third-person interaction with a couple.

Whatever the reason, reading about this topic has helped me contextualize baby talk, and I hope that the next time I come across a couple engaging in baby talk, I will cringe less. At the very least, it is important to remember that it is the couple’s world, and I am only living in it.

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PS: If the study on baby talk across cultures interested you, check out this website where they have made all of their data public. They also have cool games you can play, as part of their citizen science initiative to address the question – can people across cultures identify baby talk in different languages?